Maycauseinsanity

halalbacon:

The human brain is an amazing organ. It functions 24 hours a day from the day we are born and only stops when we are taking an exam

Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Me:
Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*
awwww-cute:

Found this little guy outside of a Mexican restaurant last night. His name is Queso

awwww-cute:

Found this little guy outside of a Mexican restaurant last night. His name is Queso

humansofnewyork:

"She was 2 lbs 11 ounces when she was born. We named her after Amelia Earhart, in case she needed to fly away."

humansofnewyork:

"She was 2 lbs 11 ounces when she was born. We named her after Amelia Earhart, in case she needed to fly away."

I loved you before I ever touched you.
(via tyrabonks)

konpozaa:

remifura:

why is it that in movies theres a group of straight ppl and then ONE gay person like what kind of homosexual would join an entire pack of heteros on their own who the sweet hell does that 

we are infiltrating and sending a constant stream of data to the Mothergay

regenderate:

hiram-mcdaniels-for-mayor:

jaclcfrost:

let’s play Did I Always Have That Personality Trait Or Did I Absorb It From A Character?

Bonus round: wait one fucking second isn’t that something my friend says and now I’m saying it too

and then there’s my favorite: Did I Get That From My Friend Or Did They Get It From Me?

feypoehlerlover:

barrel—rider:

Expectations Vs. Reality / Game of thrones

avianawareness:

yeffyaboyuice:

irregular-equinox:

My bird is dancing to smash mouth it was great

NEVER LET THIS DIE

Fids LOVE music.

lightningblitz6:

daysofxavierspast:

zeelaonmars:

scalestails:

are u fucking kidding me

octopi are just as ridiculous as cats ok

"NOPE".

" MY BOWL"

lightningblitz6:

daysofxavierspast:

zeelaonmars:

scalestails:

are u fucking kidding me

octopi are just as ridiculous as cats ok

"NOPE".

" MY BOWL"